a plea to jan.

everyone....this story is a story....of someone....in my life....guess u all will know....but i hope...most imptly...she sees this.....Yukiko...this is for you.

"My Own Sassy Girl"- by bloodless

i was chatting with all the usual ppl in the irc one dae....in #teens....looking out for ppl to chat...till i saw this nick....hikaru...i was thinking...this looks nice..thus chatted....came out to be a girl...15/f..and all abt her...she was a nice girl whom i knew...from the wae she talks....she's a soft girl....despite all the violence she talks abt...all the bitings and such.....we were hving a fun time...despite that i was kinda afraid of all the bitings...then...she had to d/c....and we just said bye....i really hoped to talk with her....coz talking to her seems really nice....i had alot of fun talking....thus that starting an everydae posting of this....every 15 mins...

"erm...is hikaru here? please do msg me if u are here..."

this was craziness....but i really hoped to talk to her.....till somedae...4 months later....someone pm-ed me..realised that it was her....i was really happy....thus we talked on..all the wae....got her contact number and friendster and msn....i was really happy....then we started to talk off irc....coz i didn't really find her there...

talking to her was real fun....all the talking abt bitings...and abt her......she's a japanese....and she's in singapore to study...and to live here....i was really fascinated.....coz i dun really see japanese girls arnd in singapore....thus that......then....we started to talk over the phone....

"hello? can i speak to jan please?"
"yeah?"
"yeah....sam here....heee.."

and then....we talked...and talked and talked......abt lots of things..abt her....and her life....and at the end of the conversation...she sent me a good night msg.....i was really happy....but yet...i was kinda worried abt her too.....coz she's one girl whom alwaes hides all her probs into herself...and alwaes liked others to see her smile....that's really one good thing abt her......which i found it a little saddening too...girls like her should be happy...not really like was she's doing....thus...i fell for her....

thruout this time....we often had phonecalls.....most of the time...she was the one calling me...and we talked....and i remember that this was wad we talked....this was b4 we met...

"you wanna meet me tml? i tml very bored..and i want to stay out..."
"eh...tml i hving contigent training nehs...dunno can make it anot.."
"then forget it."
*hangs up the phone*
i was really shocked.....i dropped my jaw and was like....nth to sae...i called her back..and it was like after 4-5 times that she answered again....and we talked...she some sort gave me an image that if i dun go, that's it...thus after training....i rushed to meet her....we were deciding on a place to slack....i suggested orchard...but she said tt it was too far....coz she just had training too....and she was kinda tired...thus i said the kallang area...which was where i was and her hse's arnd too..and she said she dun want to stay in the area.....we were deciding till she was really kinda vexed...thus....i told her tt we meet up first...

i rushed up to kallang mrt straight after training...met up with her.....found that she was really a nice ger...and thus we went off.....straight to tiong bahru plaza....she was going to her friend's hse....and i was like thinking...i send her over ba....then...thus..i went along...went to tiong bahru plaza...went to the mac...bought a medium coke....walked arnd the mall..went up to level 2...noticed that she wasn't really in a good mood...thus...we were really quiet all along....i was just like...walking beside her...hoping that she'll be ok...then after tt....she went off....and left her unfinished drink with me....drank it happily...coz it was frm her....then a prob came.....i used up my fare to meet her...thus...i was stuck at tiong bahru......wad was worse was tt my hp was low on batt...did all sorts of things to maintain battery life...managed to call my dad to come and fetch me....sighs....got scolded....but it was really worth it....

there was once....she called me...and when i answered...she was crying....and when i asked her wad happened..she didn't tell me anything...and she was crying..feeling really down, i comforted her...and at least she wasn't cryin....and what i realised was that she got slapped by her bro for just being honest....i was really infuriated with that...i really felt like giving her bro a good lesson for slapping her..if only i could....

things went on like tt....the frequent calls in the night....the sudden hangingup of the phones....at this time...i really felt that....being with her was really like in the movies...."My Sassy Girl".....she didn't hv the exact character of the girl...but she was somewhat there.....and i was just like the guy...falling crazy over her....thus..i started humming to the song, "I Believe"...and listening to it everyday to sleep...coz that reminds me of her....

then there was a time....she was sad...coz she had a major quarrel with her mum.....and i was comforting her....then...she asked....

"y are u treating me this good?"
"coz..i love you."

that was the best thing i could do...coz it was the time to tell her my feelings finally....thus.....we were together after that......

more hanging up of phones came....i know abt it...but i'll just let her....there were times when she didn't answer too....i suppose she was bz at tt time...so i just would slp with the same old wae.....smsed her too....

tt time...i was at my friend's hse....waiting to do filming of some vids..then she msged me..she had a quarrel with her family again...wanted to find a place to stay..i was really worried..thus i asked her to come over...then she came...she looked arnd...she freaked out....it was really to "new" to her...she was shocked....i was at the room with her.....she saw my friend...she said tt my friend was cute...i was kinda sad...thus told her to go stead with him...she was saeing like..."that's it." and she used the pillow to whack at me....at tt time...i felt really sweet in the heart....coz i could feel her love.....then she wanna go off.....i wanted to stop her...but she said.....

"if you stop me now then this will be the last time u see me."

i had no choice...i can't lose her.....i let her go off to her friend's hse....sighs....

thruout this time...she alwaes had this prob....she had an arranged marriage...and i dun like it...neither does she....thus i told her...if she had any probs, she can just come over my hse to stay.....i'll take care of her....and i'll wait for her...

then..suddenly....came this dae..she msged me....she wanted to breakup coz she's going off....i told her i'll wait for her....then the madness part of my life came again..........

coz......

she broke up the same wae as my first love.

the nightmares came back...the depression set in....after she left...i was set into an eternal limbo...all hte past came back to me like yesterday....i started hving hallucinations...and heard her voice all around me...all my friends arnd me told me that i was played out...but i didn't believe in them..coz i believed that she will be back....

all the depression was over when..i rcved my msg from my first love.....and at this time....she came back...she msged me in friendster...and finally...she's back....

there was a problem.....she said tt i fell for other girls....i can't really sae anything...coz she had been in my mind all along...all the phonecalls...the pillow whacking...her sweet voice.....everything...if she didn't believe what i said....i can't do much abt it....till now..i'm still listening to "I Believe" to sleep....coz i still love her.

yukiko....i'm sure u know how was our love life like......it was just exactly like the movies....i really hope that we can go on and finish the movie....coz we know how the movie ended....please yuki...i can't do much if the trust that u had in me was lost....i can only tell u that my trust in u nv left me....and there's nth i can do now if u dun believe all this.......all i can say is.....

yukiko..i love you.