crap la...

darn..
it's getting out of hand.
things are not like this allright?

shuling..
you've got the whole thing wrong le you know...?
you know...
i've never treated every of my ex the same..
you were different from the rest...
you know?
do you know how much i treasure you now...
all the more?
coz you were the only one whom gave me so much trust and love...
no others could compare to u u know?
and...i guess you should know it's my first time too...
i really dunno how it was till u let me u know?
i guess my wae of expressing my care isn't really obvious...
but...you are the one i'm caring for....
you know..
to lose you at this point of time....
will ruin me totally...
coz u are really too impt to me.
i'm supposed to study now.
but look.
how much time did i spend slacking..
the whole dae?
seriously..
without you by my side,
i can't think clearly at ALL.

i didn't say that you were such a girl u know?
i know u ain't like that AT ALL.
if not you wouldn't come all the way to my house just to be with me
if not you wouldn't take time to talk to me..
if not you wouldn't trust me so much...
if not...
i wun feel the love...
i still can feel it now...u know?

to come down to our extend...
i really know that you are sacrificing alot...
i am really appreciating it....
i'm really very very grateful..
that you did so much for me...
i really dunno wad to do.
i'd just want to hold on to you tight...

thing is...
i thought too much u know?
that's where it came wrong.
sighs.
all these qns are alwaes in my mind.

how much is much..
how over is over...
how bad is bad..
all these....
that's y when u said u did more than that...
i was thinking...how more is more...
i just wanted to know...
sighs.

i do really trust you with all my heart...
what ever you say...i do believe in it...
what ever you say...i do...
that's y...
i really can't give you much le...
other than my love, trust, soul, and body....and my life..
i dun have much of the rest..

sighs...i dunno what i can do now le...
afterall...you are the one in control...
as much as i want you by my side...
u might not want.
i respect your desicion...

pain it may be...
if i cannot take it...
i'll leave this world ba.
lol.
i hope someone wun stop me this time...
i dun wan to be bloodless again.
i'd rather be dead.